Moja prva domaća zadaća: editiranje

Practice activity: get into the #1 habit that sets great writers apart
Section 1, Lecture 5

Homework

Original paragraph 1

What means to know strange language today? Why my question contains the word "today"? What difference between today and any other time? All right, I speak concretely about the English language.  The English never to be the oil. Today it is. New the oil in the globalized economy. If I would like to offer a product to all of the World, I must know the English language.

The end of the original paragraph 1

Edited the paragraph 1

Today, the English language is the source of the richness like it was the oil hundred years ago. I'm the Croatian language native speaker, and if I want to sell my product all over the world, I must know the English language. That knowledge can't be any quality. It must be perfect!

The end of edited paragraph 1

My comment
The original paragraph 1 there is eight sentences, but the edited paragraph 1 there is the twice less, only four.
Even the four sentences in the original are needless, and those confuse readers and usurp their time.
Word "today" has been repeated even the four times! Catastrophe.

Primjedbe